An Apology by Allen Hood
Having processed the Firefly investigative report concerning Mike Bickle and the International House of Prayer of Kansas City (IHOPKC), I am thinking about the many precious family, friends, and people that are hurting. I am particularly thinking about the victims mentioned in the report, as well as those interviewed but not mentioned, who played an important role in substantiating harmful patterns.
The investigation involved over 6,000 documents and hundreds of interviews concerning a multitude of situations at IHOPKC. The task of an investigator in summing up such an immense amount of information in a report is unenviable. I am, nonetheless, feeling the victims’ pain of seeing their often life-altering stories reduced to a few sentences. The report was clear:
“Bickle committed spiritual, emotional, and sexual abuse within IHOPKC. Bickle’s reported abuse was an ongoing course of action and patterned behavior starting as early as the 1970s based on victim accounts... Furthermore, this report finds a deliberate indifference by Bickle and the ELT in minimizing reports of sexual abuse, requiring victims to confront their offenders, and discouraging victims from seeking law enforcement assistance. Their actions, or lack thereof, contributed to an environment where victims felt unsupported and vulnerable. By downplaying the severity of the abuse and failing to take appropriate measures, Bickle and the ELT failed to protect the victims and uphold their duty of care. This indifference not only exacerbated the trauma experienced by the victims but also allowed the perpetrators to evade accountability and continue their misconduct,” (pp. 55-56).
People have been seriously harmed, and many are still hurting. I want to say, from the bottom of my heart, that I am so sorry for the suffering you have experienced. While I cannot fully comprehend your pain, I am hurting for you and with you. Please forgive me for what I did to contribute to that pain as a senior leader at IHOPKC for almost 20 years.
Many people have written me, expressing their heartfelt gratitude for how IHOPKC positively impacted their lives, but I have become increasingly aware that this ministry had another side that hurt many sincere people, ones whom Jesus loves dearly. I contributed to this hurt and helped sustain IHOPKC's unhealthy leadership culture and systemic organizational issues that caused so much pain. To all the IHOPKC family (past and present interns, students, staff, and church members), I am deeply sorry. Please forgive me for the pain I caused or contributed to.
As one of the senior leaders, I allowed the challenges and intensity of 24/7 prayer, together with Mike’s rallying cry to “build the ship out at sea,” to inappropriately excuse me from the necessary reflection on church governance, eldership, and leadership qualifications and training. I failed to give adequate attention to building sustainable lifestyle rhythms and finances for healthy families, proper pastoral care, or the numerous dynamics and impact of 24/7 prayer on a community. This resulted in a revolving door of thousands of staff throughout the years, with many leaving in debt and heartbroken that they could not make it work. At IHOPKC, night-and-day prayer failed to be tethered to the centrality of the gospel and all the New Testament admonitions concerning life together. There simply is no “one-string fiddle.” Please forgive me for how my leadership failed to reflect New Testament standards of governance, love, and care for you as staff, students, interns, and church members. I am genuinely sorry for the lack of emotional and relational health in our teams as we led decades of night-and-day prayer.
Many people felt they had failed if they could not remain on staff. The quiet and peaceable life (1 Tim. 2:2 and 1 Thess. 4:11) of going to school, getting a job, and raising a family were often thought to be a lesser spiritual calling than the occupation of a full-time intercessory missionary. Though many of us would combat this in our public statements, the mistaken sentiment of the superiority of giving our lives as full-time intercessory missionaries for the vision of 24/7 prayer was still very prevalent. Please forgive me for contributing to a culture of elitism and pride among the IHOPKC staff. I especially want to ask forgiveness from those who delayed going to college, choosing a career, and getting married due to our spiritual pride and the focus on the urgency of the hour.
I am deeply sorry for the negative dynamics created by IHOPKC’s emphasis on the so-called “prophetic history.” This focus fostered a fear among many that if they left IHOPKC, they could miss out on God's end-time move. Due to the moral scandals surrounding those giving the prophetic words and the spiritual manipulation practiced in the sharing of these prophetic words, the “prophetic history” should be permanently set aside.
I am especially grieved that the “stay in the middle of the stream / barking dogs” story in the prophetic history was used to disregard criticism of the organization. IHOPKC used the prophetic history to coalesce power, influence people’s decision-making, and rebuff criticism of the organization. As the former associate director and one of the primary communicators at IHOPKC, I am genuinely sorry for being a voice of inspiration that furthered the harmful dynamics of reverence for Mike Bickle, elitism, spiritual pride, and pressure to toe the line. This was wrong. Please forgive me.
I also ask you to forgive me for my unhealthy loyalty to Mike Bickle. He was my spiritual hero, a powerfully charismatic man with an international platform whom I admired and sought to emulate. He was the most intelligent, charming, and spiritually disciplined man I had ever met. I loved him dearly, prayed for him often, and was eager to learn as much as possible from him and honor him.
My assumptions regarding Mike’s leadership culture and moral integrity were seriously flawed. I failed to protest things with Mike that I would have protested with my peers. Let me be clear. I did not personally witness any sexual indiscretion by Mike. However, I would have challenged some questionable practices regarding women as not being “above reproach” (1 Tim. 3:2) if it had been another IHOPKC leader. I am genuinely sorry for this. Please forgive me.
The prophetic history and Mike’s “heavenly visitations” regarding his calling only bolstered and reinforced his authority and leadership culture. Looking back, my wholesale loyalty was unhelpful and aided in ongoing organizational dysfunction that harmed many people. This grieves me deeply. Please forgive me.
I specifically regret not pressing the leadership team to follow up on the grievances and allegations from five students and staff in 2014 concerning the abusive culture at IHOPKC. At the time, I believed our leadership team was doing the right thing by having Howard Cordell, the leader of an association of Midwest ministers, arbitrate these allegations by the “fearless five,” as some have called them. Looking back, without agreeing with all their conclusions, I can see that many have proved true. Their critique should have been received, reflected upon, and responded to with genuine repentance and change where necessary.
Over the past year or so, a massive learning curve in my thinking has taken place regarding the crucial role that media and social media play in holding ministers and organizations accountable for clergy sexual abuse and its mishandling. Celebrity Christianity and the rise of independent churches and ministries have created powerful, charismatic leaders with little to no accountability. Victims and their advocates are continually scrutinized and demonized by these leaders. At the same time, little scrutiny is undertaken of the unchecked power of these leaders, their deficient church governance structures, or the regular covering up of sin by those with the most to lose from an influential leader’s fall.
For most of my ministry, I believed that going to other church leaders, the press, or the court of public opinion to voice allegations and grievances was wrong. I thought one of the worst things a Christian could do was to bring public reproach to the name of Christ: let your protests remain “in house.” When you have done all you can, and your conscience can no longer permit you to stay, quietly leave while publicly blessing the organization, entrusting the matter to the Lord. I have learned that this “old guard” thinking is part of the problem.
In the case of Brad Tebbutt, I helped lead an internal investigation that led to bringing in G.R.A.C.E. (Godly Response to Abuse in a Church Environment) at the victim’s request and later protested internally to IHOPKC’s leadership team and board of directors concerning the gross mishandling of the investigative report and Brad’s leadership at IHOPU. In another case of mishandled sexual misconduct that took place after leaving Kansas City, I spoke in-house with IHOPKC senior leaders. This approach was insufficient in both cases, considering the power dynamics and deficient governance structures.
Shocked after hearing Deborah’s tragic story, I was also too slow to act as I processed all the relevant Scriptures. Elizabeth Herder confronted me on my faulty interpretations of 1 Timothy 5:19, and I am incredibly grateful for her rebuke. I am deeply grieved and ask forgiveness for my “old guard” mindset.
I am continually amazed at victims' resiliency, and I am grateful for all those in the advocacy sphere who have shown me a more excellent way to honor Christ and stand with those who are suffering. I look forward to the day when true shepherds and loving elders receive allegations with a commitment to trauma-informed, safe governance. That day is not yet here, and advocates must stand with the abused and silenced now more than ever.
Over the past year, I have been listening to experts concerning adult clergy sexual abuse, the dynamics surrounding abusers, their tactics, and the type of victims they target. My heart is broken for the victims of clergy sexual and spiritual abuse. I am pained over the dozens of others whose concerns and distress were ignored, pushed aside, or mishandled by IHOPKC leadership. Many people were left in unresolved pain and made to feel like they were the problem. I sincerely apologize for how my “old guard” mentality contributed to this. Please forgive me.
It has been over six years since I left IHOPKC, over a year and a half since my dear friend Deborah opened her heart and shared her tragic experience of clergy sexual abuse by Mike Bickle, and over a year since this scandal came to the public’s attention. Some have asked why I have not said more publicly and not apologized in writing sooner. Others have asked why I have not publicly pastored the “prayer movement” through this tragedy. The main reason is that the investigation and my participation in it needed to occur. I cooperated with the investigation in full compliance and transparency, providing testimony and documentation to the investigator.
Another reason is that most days, I was in shock and pain, not knowing whether to make a public statement, accept a podcast interview, speak to a reporter, write an apology, resign from the ministry, or reach out through mutual friends and leaders to build bridges with a community I once helped lead. Most days have been spent in mourning, drawing near to those in my family and Christian community in genuine relationships, speaking regularly with a professional counselor, and focusing on becoming a more spiritually, emotionally, and relationally healthy person, husband, father, and friend.
On all days, I wish Mike had confessed his sin to Deborah’s husband and the leadership team and come clean about his misconduct, infidelity, and sexual abuse instead of lying and prophetically manipulating an entire global community through his platform, creating an impossible scenario for unity and goodwill. On all days, I wish IHOPKC’s leadership would have responded in love to victims and in righteous governance by participating in a mutually agreed upon third-party investigation. Mike’s and the IHOPKC Board’s refusal to trust Tikkun, their covenant ministry partner, and participate in the Firefly investigation will rightly call into question the honesty and sincerity of both parties. International leaders of all persuasions should soundly rebuff any attempt by Mike to return to ministry (fourteen years old is fourteen years old, whether five years ago or thirty years ago, not even mentioning the other victims). IHOPKC’s Board needs to resign immediately for gross negligence in the handling of clergy sexual abuse allegations. If you are an IHOPKC staff, community member, or donor, you should call for both in light of the report’s findings.
My final appeal is for national and international leaders not to miss what the Spirit is saying to the churches. Clergy sexual abuse cannot be minimized and cannot continue in Christ’s Body. It must be repented of, clearly repudiated, and opposed through strong policies and immediate accountability. The General Synod of the Anglican Church is to be applauded for their most recent stand to permanently remove clergy from ministry who commit clergy sexual abuse. Many leaders in the “prayer movement” and the charismatic church world have remained silent, awaiting an independent investigation’s conclusions. It has come. Please be silent no longer. The next generation of leaders and churches must witness a righteous response. If you remain silent, the cult of personality will continue to be exalted above integrity and faithfulness, and the mistrust of the church by the next generation will continue to grow.
The Scriptures are clear: “For the time has come for judgment to begin at the house of God” (1 Pet. 4:17), and “For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged” (1 Cor. 11:31). I will continue to reflect upon my time at IHOPKC and its impact on others. There will be more to address and apologize for in the coming days.
I am grateful for my local Christian community, friends, and family, where I am afforded the blessing of asking and being asked hard questions, reflecting, repenting, and seeking wholeness among a loving people to whom I am genuinely accountable. Their love, honesty, and humility give me hope for healing and a healthy Christian expression of worship and fellowship. Wherever I live, I will seek to be in fellowship with and accountable to a local church where Christ is believed in, worshipped, and followed—where spiritual, emotional, and relational health are valued and pursued.
Sincerely,
Allen Hood
